SOUTHERN EDITORIAL HUMOR AND THE
CRIMEAN WAR

When the Crimean War erupted in the mid-nineteenth century with Russia pitted alone against Turkey, Britain, and France, the Southern section of the United States¹ was intently interested in the conflict. The effect of the war on Southern economics, American neutral rights on the high seas, the South’s desire to acquire Cuba (which was staunchly opposed by Britain and France), and the religious question involving the Cross versus the Crescent, were among the issues producing this keen interest.²

Throughout the entire war, Southern periodicals followed virtually every phase of the conflict ranging from the newly invented "infernal machines" of destruction to the Sultan’s harem. Local writers handled all involved nations and principal characters in a wide variety of stories, poems, plays and anecdotes—frequently in a humorous way. The scribes who exploited this rich vein of Southern wit were mainly journalists seeking to enliven the pages of their newspapers. Early in the conflict, the Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News, referring to Russian imperialism, accused the Czar of "Poly Gamy":

Already he is in possession of Bess Arabia, and holds Moll Davia by the skirt as a material guarantee, though Mo!! is struggling hard to be released. He is stretching one arm over Behring’s Straits towards the head of Miss Issippi, and Miss Souri; whilst the other is pointing towards the fair Polly Nesia. At the same time there can be no doubt of his intention to take Mary Mortuum under his protection.

The emperor is, in fact, a general lover, and is ardently attached to Poly Gamy.—What says the empress to all this!³

Southern editors enjoyed comparing Turkey, the nation, with Turkey, the tasty domestic fowl. Reported one: "Thanksgiving day was observed very generally here [Wilmington, N.C.]. . . . Of course, all who could afford it took the Russian side of the Eastern Question and made war upon Turkey. Some, no doubt, caused the inner man to rejoice by cheering it up with copious potations of something stronger than water."⁴ A poem in an Alabama newspaper was entitled "A Rushing Melody—or, The Feast of Turkey":

So far as I can reason down
[The] complex "Eastern question"—
A Turkey done exceeding brown,
Would suit the Czar’s digestion.
Betrussed it must with bayonets first,
And peppered well with powder;
Then sliced out into provinces,
’Twill make a famous chowder.⁵

A Georgia editor used the same theme to illustrate the meeting of "several more thousand Turkies" with the "Rush-on-Bars":

A large division of the Turkies took the wrong road to glory, and fell into the mouth of the Dan-ob, where they were chawed to pieces by Prince Jaw-bone-atowski. The All-lied armies of France and England were in sight of this sad destruction of life, and did not come to the rescue. It is reported that Marshall St. Arnaud said, he didn’t care von d--n; he wanted some Turkey his self. . . . Prince Jaw-bone-atowski, the big bar, acted with great coolness—he began his attack upon the Turkies’ breast works—then upon the left wing, then upon the right, then in the rear, ending with a desperate charge into the breach, where he found all sorts of provision and spices, stored away in abundance.⁶

The Russian Czar was the target of numerous Southern puns. A South Carolina editor noted that even though the Czar may boast of the company of three million soldiers, "considering the shifts by which he has been obliged to raise money, it must be confessed that he is a lonely man."⁷ A Texas newspaper referred to the Czar as an "angel of ‘peace.’ An angel, after the Russian view, has, of course, two wings—one of infantry and one of artillery."⁸ An Arkansas editor quipped: "Why is Russia like Rome in the golden age? Because it has a C-zar at its head."⁹ The Czar’s reputed vanity was satirized in the Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal:

It is said that the Czar is one of the vainest men in the world and drinks Champagne before breakfast. Wonder how it would be if he drank "Old Nash?" Perhaps he feels shaky and wants "a hair of the dog." A "brandy cocktail," would be better, and perhaps not subject him to the imputation of being "one of the vainest men in the world." moral — Don’t drink Champagne before breakfast!¹⁰

The spelling and pronunciation of Russian names provided rich material for Southern humorists. The Savannah, Georgia Daily Republican puzzled:

Is it Kronstat with a K?
Is it Cronstat with a C?
Is it Cron with s.t.a.d.t?
Or do you leave out the d?
Is Sebastopol the word?
Or Sevastopol do you say?
It really does seem most absurd,
Not to spell one name one way.¹¹

Announcing that "General NLEPOKOITCPYZKI" had been given command of a Russian army division, one Southern editor remarked:

"Bringing out such a name as this does not look much like peace. The Turks may beat him, but he will defy them to pronounce his name; and if he beats them it will be truly said that they will never be able ‘to tell what hurt them.¹² The Nashville, Tennessee True Whig complained:

Unfortunately the [Russian] names of places, rivers, and vessels and officers are so full of "K’s" that they are absolutely unpronounceable. If some inventive genius would get a patent for a pronouncing machine he would make a fortune shortly.¹³

Another editor, in an article entitled "Doubtful Nomenclature," aided his readers with the pronunciation of Russian names:

The new Russian minister of the United States, is called Somanosoff, (saw my nose off.) An attaché of the same legation at Washington, is Blowmanosoff, (blow my nose off.) Besides which we have Colonel Kutmanosoff, (cut my nose off,) of the Imperial Guard, Marshall Polmanosoff, (pull my nose off,) General Nozbegan, (nose be gone,) and many others.¹⁴

The Charlotte, North Carolina Whig simply suggested: "To make a Russian name—imitate the ‘tchug’ of a bull-frog, give one sneeze, and say ‘ski.’"¹⁵

The Crimean War increased Southern interest in all phases of Russian life and resulted in a wide variety of humorous speculations. Odessa, the principal commercial city of Russia on the Black Sea, boasted the distinction of having a theater. The theater was a losing concern, and to keep it going, the Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal pointed out, the government gave to the same man who ran the theater the contract for issuing quarantines. Consequently, no opportunity was lost in discovering infectious diseases on all ships in the harbor:

The number of persons thus imprisoned, the long duration of their quarantine, and the exorbitant prices charged, produce more than is sufficient to set off against the losses incurred by a bad theatrical season; and so it is evident, that in proportion to the increase in sickness in the year, is the company at the Odessa theater improved, and the enjoyment of the Odessa public heightened.¹⁶

An interesting custom concerning married Russian soldiers was contained in the Clarksville, Tennessee Jeffersonian: "All soldiers are considered legally dead men, and if a wife does not see her husband for five years she may marry again. One Russian woman, who was born stone blind, is now married to her sixteenth husband."¹⁷ Drawing upon Russian laws, a Tennessee editor published "A Hint for Temperance Reformers." He explained that in Russia all persons found intoxicated in the streets, regardless of sex or social status, were compelled to spend several hours in broad daylight sweeping the public streets under police supervision. The "hint" concluded: "This badge of reproach few are willing to incur, except the more base and depraved. It operates, at least, to keep those who choose to indulge in revelry and dissipation within doors."¹⁸ Siberia was a source of humor and curiosity. A North Carolina editor recorded

that the "height of epicurianism" in Siberia was "raw cats served up in bear’s oil. . . ."¹⁹

Turkey was treated by Southern editors in a manner similar to Russia. A couple of "quips" in a Virginia newspaper read:

The Eastern Question answered—Why may we reasonably expect the Turk will succeed in preventing the Russian bear from devouring his subjects?

Why, because he’s a muzzle-man!

Another way of putting it.—Why is the Turk less cool in battle than the Russian?

Because he’s a hotter-man (Ottoman.)²⁰

One Southern editor jested: "The Turks have a very simple method of making pantaloons. They fasten two coffee bags to a vest, and the thing is done. The bags answer for legs, and the vest for the waistbands."²¹ Another added: "A Turk wears so many fleas in his shirt, that a mathematician has just demonstrated that if they should all jump at once, they would carry him across the Bosphorus."²² A Texas newspaper related a humorous incident involving a public dinner in London attended by important dignitaries including the Turkish Ambassador, who, as a Muslim, drank no wine. When "the president gave, as a toast, in compliment to his Excellency, ‘The Sublime Porte and the Turkish Ambassador,’ a waiter echoed down the table, ‘A supply of Port for the Turkish Ambassador."²³

The Turkish harem was a source of mystery to Southerners, and provided numerous human interest items in local newspapers. The Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser reported that a steamer carrying a regiment of Scottish Highlanders had docked at a port at Gallipoli. When a small Turkish vessel carrying a pasha’s harem ran underneath the steamer’s bow, some of the Highlanders jumped down upon the Turkish ship so that they might salute the ladies. But the ladies did not know what the Scotsmen were, as "  . . . they wear no inexpressibles, if you will excuse my mentioning it, [except] a sort of petticoat called a kilt . . . and that’s all." And when the ladies discovered that they were real live soldiers, "they began screaming like so many hyenas. Of course it was a shock to ladies, for the legs were very—in short very big and much exposed; . . . "²⁴ A similar article related how an American ship drifted helplessly down the Bosphorus and rammed its bow into that part of a nobleman’s palace devoted to his harem, ripping it asunder. At this occurrence, "the frightened inmates rushed out into open air in such impromptu costumes that the whole neighborhood felt scandalized." The unfortunate captain was faced with the alternative of either paying double the amount of the damage or going to a Turkish jail: "At first the captain strongly resisted the ‘gross imposition,’ but ultimately yielded to the gentler suggestion of bagnio fleas."²⁵

An Arkansas newspaper recounted that an Englishman had a friend write down for him some complimentary phrases in Turkish, such as "You are very pretty," "I love you," and so on. Armed with this document he visited the Sweet Waters, the resort area of the Sultan’s harem. Selecting the prettiest face he could find, he leaned in her carriage window, and favored the lady with the contents of his paper.

A shrill shriek from the eunuch betrayed their horror at this audacity. They rushed up and attempted to drag him away. —He resisted and one of the guardians drew his sabre. [The Englishman] did the same, and the eunuchs fled in dismay. The lady within highly enjoyed the scene, and seemed much pleased at the discomfiture of her tyrants.²⁶

An American who signed his correspondence "Tennessean" also visited the Sweet Waters and endeavored to approach some of the Sultan’s "pets." The black eunuchs who guarded the ladies were so cautious, however, that "Tennessean" caught only an occasional glimpse of the harem, enough though to conclude that "we could select a much better harem in the U.S., if our laws were not so binding on that subject. . . .²⁷ An article in a Georgia newspaper, entitled "Revolt in the Harem," stated that Turkish ladies were progressing rapidly as proven by their veils, which "grow thinner and thinner every day." The author concluded: "We shall expect to hear next of a woman’s rights meeting, in the Mosques of Stamboul, and a Ladies Drinking Saloon in its bazaars. . . . The evils of civilization spread like a plague, its blessings creep like a shadow."²⁸

The desire of the French Emperor Napoleon III for an heir gave birth to Southern witticisms. A North Carolina editor cracked: "Louis Napoleon [is] so worn out with the anxieties of his position, that he would give anything in the world for a little Nap!"²⁹ A Tennessee newspaper contained this anecdote following the interview between Queen Victoria and Louis Napoleon at Windsor:

When the French party retired to their apartments Empress Eugenie remarked that the Queen, making every allowance for the Guelph features, was not at all handsome; but Napoleon replied sternly: "She has seven children." At the same time Prince Albert expressed his admiration of Eugenie’s beauty to the Queen. Victoria turned proudly round, saying: "She has no children."³⁰

When it was finally learned that the Empress was pregnant, one Southern editor wearily wrote: "We have heard so much talk of this coming sprig of royalty, that it would not surprise us, if it were both a boy and a girl. It is to be hoped at all events, that the long agony will soon be over, and then we shall hear of something else upon the arrival of every steamer."³³

As the war ground forward, the key to victory appeared to be whether

the Russian fortress city of Sebastopol could successfully resist the Allied siege. An article in the Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News stated that "The Single Idea" in the minds of the people of France was the fall of Sebastopol. To prove this point, the article used the following illustrations:

"Madame," says the merchant, "here is a most superb cashmere of India;  . . . will you look at it?"

"No; I will wait until Sebastopol is taken."

"Sir," says the valet, "the wine-merchant has sent in his bill."

"Let him call again, after the taking of Sebastopol," replies the master.

"My Lord," says the go-between, "Madame Douche accepts the proposals you make her."

"Very well, I will sign the contract after I read the dispatches of Lord Raglan, dated within Sebastopol."

"Ah, madam, do you love me?" asks the imploring swain.

"I will answer you when Sabastopol surrenders," answers the lady. . . .

And from the obstinacy with which that dreadful town defends itself from the forces of the allies . . . all social movements are arrested, and all seem determined not to buy—to pay—to love—to amuse themselves, in resentment for the pertinacity of the Russians in the Crimea. . . .³²

One French officer before Sebastopol, believing the siege might last indefinitely, wrote his brother at Marseilles to send him, among other things, "a supply of garden seeds, such as salad and spinach, as he says the soil is rich, and he expects to have time to gather a crop previous to the conclusion of the campaign."³³ When a "Modern Joan of Arc" emerged in France, believing she had a divine mission to "take Sevastopol in a very short time," the Galveston, Texas Weekly News humorously reported: "All she asks for to accomplish her glorious mission is an escort of a sergeant, a corporal, and ten men. She is at present committed ingloriously as a vagabond."³⁴

The stubborn resistance of Sebastopol to the Allied siege resulted in the following poem comparing the impregnable fortress to an "impregnable maiden":

A NEW SIEGE OF SEVASTOPOL—IN TWO PARTS.

PART I.

There is a fortress fair and strong,
In Russia’s waste and wintry regions,
Where France and England vain and long
Have poured their brave and fated legions.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Czar within his palace halls
Still feels his solemn throne unshaken;
His flag still floats above its walls,
And his "Savastopol’s not taken."

PART II.

There is a fortress fair as art,
And cold as Russia’s clime of winter,
Walled round within a maiden’s heart,
My love has sought in vain to enter.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
For, by consent of heathen Jove,
The siege shall never be forsaken,
Till conquest crowns the arms of Love,
And my Sevastopol is taken.35

A Virginia editor, amazed at the amount of iron expended during a twelve-day concentrated bombardment of Sebastopol surmised: " . . . it is safe to compute the total consumption of iron in the siege of Sebastopol for these 12 days at 25,000 tons. This iron thus thrown away and wasted in war in the brief period of 12 days, would furnish the metal required to construct about 2,200 miles of railroad."³⁶ One Southern editor even recommended that the besieged city should change its name to "Bombastopol."³⁷

Another Crimean War battle that pricked the humor of the South occurred at Balaclava. This battle included the valorous but suicidal British "Charge of the Light Brigade," immortalized in Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s famous poem which bears the refrain: "Into the valley of death rode the six hundred." Southerners quickly responded to its publication with humorous parodies of their own. One of the earliest of these was entitled "Charge of the Starved Brigade," and was written "Not by Tennyson":

Half starved, half starved,
Half starved, onward,
All in the valley of soup,
Rushed full six hundred.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Forward the starved brigade!"
No one a bit afraid—
No one, although he knew
The notice was blundered:
Theirs not a word to say,
Theirs not to disobey,
Theirs but a hungry day—
Into the valley of soup
Rushed full six hundred.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
When will the soup be gone?
O the wild charge that morn!
At which folks wondered.
Good was the soup they made
Cheering the starved brigade,
All of six hundred.38

Other humorous parodies, some of them bawdy or sarcastic, included:

"Charge of the Paul Pry Brigade,"³⁹ "Charge of the Bright Brigade,"⁴⁰ "Charge of the Tight Brigade,"⁴¹ and "That Charge Again."⁴²

Britain was the recipient of a host of miscellaneous Southern anecdotes, poems, and other humorous illustrations. The Columbus, Georgia Enquirer gleefully stated: "It is true that six months have elapsed since the allies have taken the field. They have taken the field: and that is all they have taken."⁴³ A North Carolina newspaper compared the premature boast of the British ministry that their Baltic fleet would flog the Czar " . . . to the expedient of the man ‘who sold the hide of the bear before he had encountered the animal.’"⁴⁴

Lord Raglan’s dispatches from the seat of war endeavored to prove the negative influence of the Crimean weather upon the minds and bodies of his men, and hence their inability to take Sebastopol.⁴⁵ This line of reasoning resulted in the following poem published in several Southern newspapers:

LORD RAGLAN’S REASONS

Lord Raglan might, in September, have taken
Sevastopol duly and truly;
But the weather (he raves about weather!) was warm,
And he wished to take it—coolly.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
October, November and December came on,
As if missioned his army to kill off;
"The weather is now too cold," quoth he,
"I’ll take it with the chill off!"
For three months more, dispatches he wrote
In meteorological form,
’Till the storms had passed; "’Tis too late now,"
Quoth he, "to take it—by storm!"
Thus whether the weather be foul or fair,
Sevastopol ’scapes the blow—
Then, down with the weatherglass! give us a man
Who will take it—whether or no.⁴⁶

Florence Nightengale and her nursing companions were highly praised by Southern newspapers,⁴⁷ and when various individuals dared to criticize her the South sprang to her defense.⁴⁸ Upon learning that Miss Nightengale was seriously ill in the Crimea, the Raleigh, North Carolina Spirit of the Age, "A Temperance and family Weekly News paper," used the occasion to strike a blow at "Demon Rum":

It was not the poison breath of infection, or the exhaustion of untiring toil, or the glaring summer sun . . . that weighed down her slender form.

"All this could I have borne with deep joy!" she writes "but to see the stretcher brought to the gates every hour laden with men foaming in the mouth and black in the face, not with gore of battle but with the horrible defacement of a foe more dreadful or deadly than the Russians or the plague, oh it is terrible!"

So, rum, the curse of the universe, has found its way into the Camp of the Allies; and is mowing down the flower of the Crimea like the fatal chain of the enemy.

No wonder that Florence Nightengale’s courage failed—no wonder that her spirit gave away. The rum plague is more fatal in its havoc than bursting shells—its death seal more revolting than mangled soldiers, or the loathsome pestilence.⁴⁹

The exploits of an English war-dog in the Crimea aroused the interest of the rural South. Wrote the Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal:

. . . during the battle of the Tchernaya, the quadruped broke his chain, fought in the ranks of the army, saved the life of a sergeant and a soldier, and took three Russians prisoners. A ball struck his foot, but the wound only embittered the animal the more. He threw himself upon a Russian officer, flung him to the ground, and dragged him prisoner by his coat collar to the French. A physician has bound up the wound, and the four-footed hero is convalescing.  . . . He will probably receive some mark of honor. . . .⁵⁰

Southerners were interested to learn that the Crimean War influenced the Millerites to predict another date for the world to end—this time, May 26, 1854. The Millerites based their prediction upon "the progress of events in Europe, [which] surely indicated the fulfillment of the prophecy. The Czar of Russia is making his last gigantic stride towards Constantinople, which when reached will shut the book of time for us. . . ." An editorial comment added: "Their zeal is darkened by words without knowledge—and long after these devotees shall have returned to dust, their present words and acts will be pointed to as an era of strange delusions among the otherwise sensible men."⁵¹

The Elizabeth City, North Carolina Democratic Pioneer suggested that the best way for Great Britain to defeat Russia would be to give the Czar a most elaborate railway system. The Pioneer reasoned:

The armies of course, would be conveyed by these railways, and if care was taken to appoint well tried, drunken stokers on each line, it is very clear that no country, whatever its resources might be, could possibly stand up against such a terrific system of wholesale slaughter. The war would probably be brought to an end without a single engagement having been fought, and if so, we could almost feel inclined to forgive the great loss of life these railway-engines of destruction had been to ourselves in the consoling thought that they had been the happy means of exterminating an enemy so formidable, in point of numbers, as Russia.⁵²

A Tennessee editor added that "carriage drivers" would make the best soldiers in the world, as no enemy troops could "stand their charges." The editor’s pithy remark applied to the omnibus drivers of Memphis, who recently raised the price "from 25 to 50 cents, just for the price of a trip from Memphis to Germantown on the cars. Such a charge is an imposition."⁵³

The newly invented telegraph, put to its first wartime use in the Crimea,⁵⁴ attracted Southern attention. One editor related that a Zouave before Sebastopol mailed a letter to his peasant-father back in France, requesting a new pair of shoes.

The affectionate father, having purchased a pair . . . put the address on one of the soles and slung the shoes over the [telegram] wire. A peddler, passing by . . . appropriated them, placing his used up trampers in their place. The next morning the old daddy returned to the spot to see if the telegraph had executed his commission. He saw the substitution which had been effected. "I vow," he exclaimed, "if Joseph hasn’t already sent back his old ones!"⁵⁵

In an article entitled "Not so Bad as the Alabamians," the Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News explained that even though one Turk cut off two yards of the telegraph wire in the hope of being the first to learn of the fall of Sebastopol, and another cut the wire in half to see if it was hollow, "the people in one section of Alabama recently cut down the telegraph poles because they were believed to keep off the rain."⁵⁶

During this era of personal journalism. the writing, fighting, Southern editors sometimes referred to the Crimean War in their feuds with each other. The editor of the Selma, Alabama Weekly State Sentinel replied to a verbal attack upon him by the editor of the Cahaba, Alabama Gazette, with the following retort:

Sevastopol Threatened

***

Dangerous Battle in Embryo

***

Blood to Flow like Water

***

IF THE FIGHT HAD COME OFF!

***

News by the way of Cahaba⁵⁷

The editor of the Ashville, North Carolina News wrote:

Our neighbor of the Spectator does not like Mr. Clingman’s speech on mediation [of the Crimean War]—positively he does not! Well, what of it? Nobody expected him to.

"I do not like you, Dr. Fell,
    The reason why, I cannot tell;
  But this I know full well,
    I do not like you, Dr. Fell."⁵⁸

Parson Brownlow, editor of the Knoxville, Tennessee Brownlow’s Whig, exposed a defaulting subscriber who had ‘fled to parts unknown, owing him six dollars," in the following violent language:

Let him be published in every journal in existence, until his defalcation is known; and upon the waves of the Euxine let his meanness be borne along with the . . . groans of the dying Turks! And may the deep-dyed Waters of the Danube hide his body from the eye of man, when the sabre of the Cossack and of the Turk shall have drank [sic] deeply of his blood. And may the close of 1854 never permit the sun to shine upon another rascal who may abscond in our debt, too mean and too dishonest event to write us and promise to pay.59

The editor of the Summerville, [Arkansas?] Recorder told of an extremely rural character who came to town and happened to visit the printing office. "He was amazed at all the types, and said he didn’t know ‘there was such a thing in town.’ He takes no paper, but he ‘owns land, mules and niggers.’" The editor added:

We intended to spring the Eastern war question with him, but before we availed ourself of the moment, the very sound of the craft, and sight of genius and literature frightened him off. If he has heard of the Eastern war, and even thinks—reckon he thinks that if "Genneral Pierce had ’o hung ole Santy Ant-ny when he cotch ’im at the All-end-zes, he wouldn’t ’o now be in co-hoots with the Britishes if robbin the Greek of his Turkeys."⁶⁰

The phrase, "Fall of Sebastopol," was incorporated into various Southern newspapers advertisements by debt collectors, meat houses, and country stores because it served as an eye-catcher—as illustrated by the three following examples:

IS SEBASTOPOL TAKEN?

No difference, we have just received a fresh lot of New Sugar; coffee; Molasses; a fresh supply of Sannoner’s Candy; Axes; Candles; Crackers; Raisins; Shot; Shovels; Lead; Whiskey; ORANGES; Nutmegs; Lard Oil; Linseed Oil; Currants; Blister Steel; &c., &c., which we offer Cheap, on our usual terms—Cash.

Feb. 21, 1855 B. MERRIL⁶¹

SEBASTOPOL TAKEN

FINE MEAT

I have this day re-opened my Meat House near the old stand, one door from the Empire House on Jefferson street, where I shall be happy to see my old customers and the public generally, to supply them with the finest Meat, Fish, Wild Game, &c., that the market affords.

Oct. 5-3m Wm. Bender⁶²

SEBASTOPOL HAS FALLEN!!

Take Notice. I have made out Accounts against all persons who are owing me for the last year, and expect them to come forward and pay up promptly; for I am determined to have my books balanced.

G, S. MORRISON
Little Rock, Jan. 9, 1855⁶³

An advertisement in a Georgia newspaper used a different Crimean War subject to attract attention:

TURKS VICTORIOUS

The Turks have thus far been Victorious, and we are wanting in Money, and would respectfully invite all those indebted to us to come forward and settle their old Accounts and Notes; and thus would greatly oblige.

                        April 20—6—tf.                             P. A. SUMMEY & BRO.⁶⁴

As a capstone, "The Great Russian Remedy. —Pro Bono Publico! —Redding’s Salve" was advertised in Southern newspapers as

a sure and speedy cure for Burns, Piles, Boils, Corns, Felons, Chilblains, and Old Sores of every kind; for Fever Sores, Ulcers, Itch, Scald Head, Nettle Rash, Bunions, Sore Nipples, (recommended by nurses), Whitlows, Sties, Festers, Flea Bites, Spider Stings, Frozen Limbs, Salt Rheum, Scurvy, Sore and Cracked Lips, Sore Nose, Warts and Flesh Wounds.⁶⁵

Thus Southern humor on the Crimean War ranged from the "Malakoff," the name of a new lady’s hat,⁶⁶ to the "Sebastopol," the title of a new cloak for the ladies: "So called, we surmise, because what is inside of it can’t or won’t be ‘taken!’"⁶⁷

NORTHEAST LOUISIANA UNIVERSITY

NOTES

¹Wilbur J. Cash, The Mind of the South (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1941), p. viii. Cash’s definition of the South as the "boundaries of the former Confederate States of America, but shading over into some of the border states" applies in this paper.

²For a broader overview of the South’s interest in the war, see Horace P. Jones, "Southern Opinion on the Crimean War." The Journal of Mississippi History, 29 (May, 1967), 95–117.

³Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News, September 21, 1854. Throughout the footnotes of this paper, sources containing identical reference will be separated only by a period. Sources containing pertinent and related references, but not identical, will be introduced by the words "see also"; after which, they too will be separated only by a period.

⁴Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal, November 25, 1853. See also the Jacksonville, Florida News, January 13, 1855.

⁵Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, October 26, 1853.

⁶Savannah, Georgia News, quoted in the Jacksonville. Florida News, July 22, 1854.

⁷Charleston. South Carolina Weekly News, June 1, 1854.

⁸San Antonio, Texas Ledger, June 15, 1854.

⁹Little Rock, Arkansas Whig, January 26, 1854.

¹⁰Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal, December 21, 1853.

¹¹Savannah, Georgia Daily Republican, June 30, 1854.

¹²Knoxville, Tennessee Daily Statesman, August 26, 1854.

¹³Nashville, Tennessee True Whig. May 10, 1854.

¹⁴Selma, Alabama Weekly State Sentinel, August 25, 1854.

¹⁵Charlotte, North Carolina Whig, July 13, 1854.

¹⁶Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal, February 25, 1854.

¹⁷Clarksville, Tennessee Jeffersonian, July 19, 1854.

¹⁸Columbia, Tennessee Democratic Herald, October 13, 1855.

¹⁹Raleigh, North Carolina Semi- Weekly Standard, April 18, 1855.

²⁰Alexandria, Virginia Gazette and Virginia Advertiser, March 8, 1854.

²¹Charleston, South Carolina Tri- Weekly Mercury, April 2, 1855.

²²Tuscumbia, Alabama Enquirer, March 21, 1855.

²³San Antonio, Texas Ledger, December 8, 1853.

²⁴Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, August 23, 1854.

²⁵Alexandria, Virginia Gazette and Virginia Advertiser, February 13, 1856. Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, February 22, 1856.

²⁶Little Rock, Arkansas Whig, July 6, 1854.

²⁷Memphis, Tennessee Daily Union and American, November 24, 1853.

²⁸Augusta, Georgia Daily Chronicle and Sentinel, August 13, 1854.

²⁹Wadesborough, North Carolina Pee Dee Star, September 16, 1854.

³⁰Columbia, Tennessee Democratic Herald, September 8, 1855.

³¹Richmond, Virginia Daily Dispatch, quoted in the Alexandria, Virginia Gazette and Virginia Advertiser, September 7, 1855.

³²Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News, March 8, 1855.

³³Austin, Texas State Gazelle, Aprit 28, 1855.

³⁴Galveston, Texas Weekly News, September 22, 1855.

³⁵Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, June 20, 1855.

³⁶Williamsburg, Virginia Gazette, May 31, 1855. See also the Columbus. Georgia Enquirer, June 5, 1855.

³⁷Charlotte, North Carolina Western Democrat, December 29. 1854.

³⁸Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, February 2, 1855. Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal, February 16, 1855. For a more detailed treatment of this subject see Horace P. Jones "Southern Parodies on Tennyson’s Charge of the Light Brigade," Louisiana Studies, XI, No. 4 (Winter. 1972), pp. 315-320.

³⁹Little Rock, Arkansas True Democrat, May 8, 1855.

⁴⁰Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, March 15, 1855.

⁴¹Pau!ding, Mississippi Eastern Clarion, April 28, 1855. Little Rock, Arkansas State Gazette and Democrat, May 18, 1855.

⁴²Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News, May 3, 1855.

⁴³Columbus, Georgia Enquirer, October 31, 1854.

⁴⁴Raleigh. North Carolina Semi- Weekly Register, December 6, 1854.

⁴⁵Richmond, Virginia Semi-Weekly Enquirer, November 19, 1855.

⁴⁶Austin, Texas Texas State Gazette, May 12, 1855. Galveston, Texas Weekly News, April14, 1855. Vicksburg, Mississippi Weekly Sentinel, May 16, 1855.

⁴⁷Charleston, South Carolina Daily Courier, December 22, 1854. Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, March 21, 1855; July 12, 1855. Greensborough, North Carolina Weekly Messenger, May 17, 1855.

⁴⁸Mobile, Alabama Weekly Register, February 10, 1855.

⁴⁹Raleigh, North Carolina Spirit of the Age, August 8, 1855.

⁵⁰Wilmington, North Carolina Daily Journal, October 16, 1855.

⁵¹Alexandria, Virginia Gazette and Virginia Advertiser, February 16, 1854. When the world failed to end on this date, a later article in the Ashville, North Carolina News, September 28, 1854, fixed the new date to be May 19, 1855. See also the Galveston, Texas Weekly News, September 5, 1854, and the Raleigh, North Carolina Spirit of the Age, October 17, 1855.

⁵²Elizabeth City, North Carolina Democratic Pioneer, July 11, 1855.

⁵³Memphis, Tennessee Daily Appeal, November 6, 1855.

⁵⁴Peter Gibbs, Crimean Blunder: The Story of War with Russia a Hundred Years Ago (New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, Inc. 1960), pp. 273-274.

⁵⁵Memphis, Tennessee Daily Appeal, October 10, 1855.

⁵⁶Charleston, South Carolina Weekly News, September 30, 1855.

⁵⁷Selma, Alabama Weekly State Sentinel, February 20, 1855.

⁵⁸Ashville, North Carolina News, January 25, 1855.

⁵⁹Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, March 21, 1854.

⁶⁰Summerville[?]Recorder, quoted in the Little Rock, Arkansas Whig, August 10, 1854.

⁶¹Tuscumbia, Alabama Enquirer, April25, 1855. This add ran in numerous issues of this paper from February through April, 1855.

⁶²Memphis. Tennessee Daily Appeal, October 5, 1855.

⁶³Ljttle Rock, Arkansas State Gazette and Democrat, January 26, 1855.

⁶⁴Athens, Georgia Southern Banner, July 24, 1854. This add ran in various issues throughout July and August, 1854.

⁶⁵Mobile, Alabama Daily Advertiser, February 14, 1856. Wilmington. North Carolina Daily Journal, March 27, 1856.

⁶⁶Little Rock, Arkansas Chronicle, November 1, 1855.

⁶⁷Knoxville, Tennessee Standard, March 28, 1855.